Survival in the Time of Coronavirus:
Adjust your expectations, pick your battles, and use self-compassion liberally!
Hello, Practice families!
I’m coming to you from my make-shift office in my kids’ bedroom today– isn’t it completely crazy how much life has shifted over the past two weeks?
I am going to be brief, because I know that we are all in the midst of a chaotic juggle of work, parenthood, home-schooling, and more. We’re shell-shocked and exhausted from burning the candle at both ends, managing our own anxiety about the world, and also trying to provide a stable, sheltered space for our kids.
This is not an easy time to be a parent, no matter how old your children might be. I hope that you can pause and acknowledge that things are difficult, and maybe even high-five yourself for the way you’ve made it work (even if the making-it-work has been a little messy!). I hope that you can remind yourself that this is completely new territory for all of us; we’ve never been here before, and consequently we have to figure it out as we go. That we’ll inevitably mess up, mis-step, lose our cool and we need to cut ourselves some slack… and cut our partners and our kids some slack too.
So for the love of all that is holy, as you move through the next days and weeks– please try to relax your expectations and pick your battles. Focus on survival, and prioritize relationships and everyone’s emotional well-being. Let go of the non-essentials. Don’t get sucked into others’ expectations (I’m looking at you, school and work) and/or social media-fueled comparisons. Instead, try to zoom out, and think about what your main intentions or goals might be for this time. What do you really think success would mean for you during this chaos?
What do you really want your kids to remember once we have come out the other side? (Hint: it’s probably not math facts.) Take care of yourself– just like in a crashing airplane, in this crazy coronavirus world, we as parents desperately need to put our own air masks on first so that we can offer our kids the sense of stability and security that they need. Sleep. Eat. Take space for yourself. Identify micro self-care practices that feel manageable in the context of everyday chaos… then make sure you actually do them. Try to keep your sense of humor and make room for fun. Fail miserably at all of the above– because you inevitably will– and pick yourself back up with self-compassion and without guilt or remorse, and begin again.
We may all be apart at the moment, but we are fighting this fight together in spirit. Sending lots of warm wishes, from my chaotic family to yours.
Related good reads:
- This is the time to lower the bar (The Cut)
- I refuse to run a coronavirus home school (NY Times)
- There are plenty of things to worry about. Your preschooler’s education is not one of them. (Teacher Tom)
- Moms are under immense stress right now (Romper)
NEW Online Parent Programs!
- How to Talk to Kids About Coronavirus
- How to Parent Through School Closures
- Managing Our Own Stress, Anxiety, and Frustration as Parents
Each webinar is $10 (or $25 for all three!); the on-demand download comes with a PDF tip sheet summarizing the key ideas for easy access and offering a variety of linked resources that we love.
And our How to Not Lose Your Sh*t With Your Kids 30 day program has never seemed so relevant!! $30 for 30 days of daily emails, each with a specific, evidence-based strategy to help you keep your cool during difficult moments with your kids.
In addition, we have developed a brand new online Facebook community for parents– for $30, you get access to all three of the above webinars and tip sheets AND our online How to Not Lose Your Sh*t With Your Kids series, plus daily Facebook Lives with me, and five to seven daily posts with resources related to coping successfully with all of this craziness.