April 2024: The Impact of Love Relationships on Children
Hi, Practice Families!👋
This week, a quote stopped me in my tracks. I’ve reread it several times and feel this in my bones after years of doing therapy with adults who are also parents.
“When we love our partner well, we offer a blueprint for a loving relationship to our children and their partners. Better relationships between love partners are not just a personal preference, they are a social good. Better love relationships mean better families. And better, more loving families mean better, more responsive communities.” - Dr. Sue Johnson
So many of my clients talk with anguish about the deterioration of their marriages, the unspooling of their partnerships. Tears fall on my therapy sofa as men and women whisper about feeling lonely, longing for more sexual and emotional intimacy with their partners. We are wired for connection, and we experience such loss and pain when we lose emotional synchronicity. Worse than just our own emotional distress in disconnected relationships, we unintentionally model disjointed romantic relationships for our children to carry into their futures.
As parents, we should be concerned about teaching crucial relationship skills like accessibility, responsiveness and engagement. Our love relationships impact our children, shaping their expectations and creating patterns that will inform their adult relationships. I know we worry about teaching our children how to navigate social media, how to strengthen their minds and bodies, but let’s also add learning how to tend and nurture emotional connections.
If you struggle with those skills yourself, individual therapy is a place to learn about your relationship patterns, distill your core values and help you connect with yourself and your partner. We can heal. We can grow stronger love relationships and set up our children for deeper, long-standing love relationships and, I hope, ultimately better communities.
Too busy for therapy right now? Check out these 7 relationship books - the first two are my absolute favs!
Warmly,
P.S.: Dr. Stephanie is currently accepting new clients. If you’re interested in working with her, schedule a free intake call or email us at hello@practicesanfrancisco.com.
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